No More Pride Discourse, Please

To state the incredibly obvious, Them is a website for chronically online queer people made by chronically online queer people. This year marks something like my twelfth Pride as an out queer person, which means that it is also the dozenth time that I am knee-deep in the trenches known as “annual Pride discourse,” a sentence which made me sigh deeply and put my head in my hands upon having to type it.

Each year like clockwork, the LGBTQ+ community comes together to argue online pointlessly about truly the most unnecessary topics imaginable. Back in the halcyon days of 2019, I weighed in on the topic du jour, which seemed to be that we should bulldoze every gay bar and replace it with a queer café for the sake of “inclusivity” or something.

Since then, it seems, the prevailing topic has been “kink at pride,” with some arguing that adults who dare to show up to parades in pup hoods and leather harnesses should be burned at the stake for potentially exposing children to their depravity. (Never mind that kids go to the beach and see people who are just as scantily clad all the timeand no one is traumatized for it). People may now be coming to the grim realization that the “kink at Pride” discourse was essentially making the exact same arguments that the right is currently using to criminalize drag and trans existence, because they (blessedly) seem to be putting that one on the backburner for now.

Unfortunately, that means that this year, everyone seems to be arguing about — or joking about arguing about — bisexual women and their straight boyfriends. God help us all. Thankfully, I have curated my social media feeds such that I have only encountered jokes about the “bi women with straight boyfriends” discourse. Regrettably, however, I’ve heard that on other corners of the internet, people are earnestly and passionately fighting over whether or not your local woman with cuffed jeans and enamel pins should be allowed to bring Chad to the dyke march.

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Don’t get me wrong, I definitely cared about things like this at one point. I even made my own joke about it… nearly two years ago. But as far as earnestly getting mad about straight people at Pride goes, that was back when I was a teenager whose only access to queer community was in the classroom of my high-school English teacher (a.k.a. my emotional support animal) during GSA meetings. It would be one thing if I only saw Pride discourse from teenagers on the internet. But sadly, there are grown adults spending their one wild and precious life on Rihanna’s internet being Like This.


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